Chris Brown: The Testicle Protector
Look at this picture closely. Take your time.
I was kidding about the “take your time” bit. I’m impatient. what have you observed from this photo?
This might very well be your next job interview question.
Here’s what I gathered from looking at this picture.
The dude in this photo is Chris Brown (duh), and the lady in question is, for want of a better monicker, let’s call her Chisara. All the Chisaras out there, One love!
In this picture, we see Chisara about to throw herself on Breezy, and we observe three things at once.
1. Chris Brown grabs his nuts (or testicles, for you 80’s babies). I’m impressed. He’s learned about Nigeria’s trade and barter system quickly. One hug for your balls. Especially during Christmas. The babalawos are working double-time.
2. Chisara very likely has body odour or body lice (or both). Check out the facial expression on Breezy’s face and see the desperately outstretched hands of Chisara. From experience, high B.O’d people are the quickest to unsheathe their armpits.
3. Chisara miscalculated. She probably thought showing Chris Brown her “new China phone” would make her look as “classy” as he is. Eeyah.
Chick Tip, Chisara: when Justin Bieber comes, here’s what you should do to avoid a repeat of this: stay at home with Chinedu (your boyfriend).