Why You Shouldn’t Tell Your Friends You’re Getting Married

by Vunderkind


Maxwell is at the beer parlor, as he usually is. This time, however, he’s staring off into space with this dreamy look people who are fantasizing usually have.

His friend, Philip walks up to him and says: “whaddup mehn? Wetin dey happen? Wetin you dey think?”

Maxwell replies “Mehn…I’m getting married soon oh. God, I’m so excited!”

Philip laughs and says “wow, man! Congrats! Who’s the lucky girl?”

Maxwell answers: “You know her na. Cynthia Obaseki.”

Philip bursts into laughter. “You’re kidding me right? Shit. Everybody in this bar has slept with Cynthia. You’ve got to be joking!!!”

Maxwell is still in the bar. He’s still staring off into space. His other buddy, Emeka, walks up to him.

“Dude. Wetin you dey reason?”

Maxwell sighs. “Mehn. I just found this girl I love! She’s agreed to marry me!”

Emeka is goggle-eyed. “That’s good news man! What’s her name?”

“Cynthia Obaseki”

“Fuck! Everybody in my office knows Cynthia Obaseki. And by know, I mean knooooow…! Mehn, tell me it’s a joke!!!”

Now Maxwell is still staring off into space, but this time he’s depressed.

The bartender walks up to him.

“Hey, Max. How you dey na? Wetin dey bother you? Talk to your boy.”

Maxwell sighed. “Mehn, I wan marry this girl oh. But everybody just dey tell me say the girl na cheap whore.”

The bartender laughs good-naturedly. “Guyyy! You never know your guys? Na so guys dey talk na. They can yarn dust about chicks na…it’s no biggie.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. Marry any girl you want jare. Na just rumor. Every girl is a gem. That is, apart from that bitch like that wey them dey call Cynthia Obaseki”

THE END.

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