Challenge Thirty: ThisIsBFG

**This niggah is just a pavat. End.**

Mastermind: @ThisIsBFG

Domain: ThisIsBFG


I got up very early;

I woke up with the sun.

Today would be a glorious day;

A very special one.

All year I had been waiting

For the order I had made.

I was very impatient,

And prayed it wouldn’t be delayed.

When finally the bell rang,

I jumped up from my seat.

I ran to the front gate

Without shoes on my feet.

I signed for my delivery,

And wheeled the box inside.

My curiosity was killing me,

And it would not be denied.

Inside I tried to open it;

This took more than an hour.

For it was tightly sealed

And therefore needed lots of power.

After much toil and sweat,

The box finally gave way,

And now I’d see the miracle

For which I’d had to pay.

I opened the box and there she was;

The lady of my dreams.

Created in the laboratory

By several scientific teams.

The Artemis 7000,

Only five ever made;

Laid out in all her glory,

In my living room displayed.

Her hair gleamed like the sun

In the middle of the day.

You could get lost in her eyes,

And never find your way.

And you’d never get a better blow

From another mouth;

For those lips were as perfect up north,

As the lips much further south. 😉

Oh, the shape of those breasts

On which I longed to lay my head;

There are no two softer pillows

On any earthly bed.

Her shiny skin was African,

But not too black at all.

Her stomach was as flat and firm

As China’s great big wall.

There aren’t enough adjectives

To describe this creature’s ass;

Just know that it was fucking huge,

And let the matter pass.

I plugged her in her charger,

And sat back in my chair.

Fuck work, fuck school, fuck everything;

I wasn’t going anywhere.

I’ve never been more happy,

To live in a future time,

An era of great inventions,

And technology so sublime;

This is AD 2080,

And I’m staying home alone

To have some freaky fun

With my Nicki Minaj clone.


51 thoughts on “Challenge Thirty: ThisIsBFG

    1. Ah. I’m not a pavat o. This is all an elaborate smear campaign by oV. Hehehe. I said smear. Such a filthy-sounding word. Smear. SMEAR. SMEEEEAAAARR. Sorry. But it WAS fun for me though. Thanks for reading.


  1. 1 word: buhahahahahahahaha
    Shittttttt I think I got a…nvm! Sounds like a good idea tho! The whole clone thing! We ugly niggaz won’t have to suffer rejection no more!
    Nice rhymes,piece had flow,consistent flow,made sense for a sci-fi poem! Creative shit!


    1. Thank you, thank you. Long live the Intergalactic Alliance of Ugly Niggaz. We shall always find new ways to get the puzzay. These human chicks ain’t shit. (˘̯˘ ).

      Oh… Hi, honey. Didn’t know you’d read this… This is awkward… (._.)


    1. Ehn. I’m a comedian whenever the voices in my head let me. Which isn’t often. Ow. Voice 1 just hit me. Now he just hit Voice 15. He gets violent when he’s hungry. 15, stop being such a pussy. But thanks for reading.


  2. LOOOOOOL! BFG is a pavat! And I say so..”Let the matter pass..”

    Hehe..smh..smh..”No two softer pillows..China’s great wall..Minaj..”
    On a Sunday morning!!!! will I face the Pastor? How??

    Wait! I didn’t write this. I just read..(¬_¬)


    1. Let your pastor read it na. It’ll be fun. Disclaimer: If Janus the two-headed god of perviness gets excommunicated from church and subsequently stoned, I was never here. Thank you.


    1. High praise indeed. I shall now tie myself to the bed; my swelling head is threatening to lift me off the floor, you see. Thanks for reading.


  3. I like your way with words. Makes it pretty clear for all to understand. Nice narrative poem with great rhymes. Good job on the flow, it kept me going all through.
    Great read and thanks for sharing, Perv.


    1. Haay. Irabor has killed me o. Now they think I’m a perv. I can’t imagine why. Thank you very much. All this positive feedback is nice.


  4. Trash…inverted. Yea, perverts never admit they are. Tho i aint one myself, I share ur Nick-screwing dream. We’ll get there. Masterful piece, i must say.


    1. Yes, brother in the Lord. We shall get into the paradise of Miss Maraj’s thighs. Maybe I’ll even pray about it in church. Thanks for reading.


  5. Trash…inverted. Yea, perverts never admit they are. Tho i aint one myself, I share ur Nicki-screwing dream. We’ll get there. Masterful piece, i must say.


  6. Well wrapped piece.I can ever be this brazen in writing,i know…i also hope you don’t die of electrocution due to ‘over-charging'(pun intended).Other horn-gly niccurs would hound you down too…i’m out…of 2080 A.D.


  7. Well wrapped piece.I don’t think i can be this brazen in writing.I hope you don’t eventually get electrocuted from ‘over-charging’.Remember also the Horn-gly niccurs out there,they’d track you down! i’m out…of 2080AD.


    1. Thanks. You should be as brave as you wanna be when writing. Get on the same page with your inner pervert. See me and my inner perverts? (yes, we are many.) We are a happy pervy machine. Thanks again.


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