(B)itch by the Beach

by uluthrix

UluthriX’s note: I want to write the simplest quasipoem ever in the history of man. Loool. No, but really. I don’t want to use imagery or anything. God bless you as you read. 

Also, Justin has an announcement to make, and I’m making it on his behalf: OUR (YES, OUR) SERIES IS ALMOST READAYYYYY. WE ARE DOING IT THIS WEEK. (FRIDAY WILL BE THE ‘PILOT’ EPISODE).

I’m basically in the loop so I know a few things about what it will entail:

The title is going to be “Straggler’s Inc.” and the plot blew my mind. I’m doing shameless advertising here bros. Now chill and read this poem. Tanchu.





A crab said to the sea, in the morning of the day of Thor

Ladies claim to have me, and then they are sore

The sea waved a little, and then roared

That’s silly, said the sea, you silly, silly sod.


You sound sea-sure, said the crestfallen crab

But I’ve only just seen a woman in a cab

She packed her load, you can ask the toad

Then sat by the beach, and scratched an itch

And scratched (oh Lord!) until she was red

Then yelled ‘I have crabs!” and I shook my head


The sea munched on some seabiscuits and sighed wearily

Si, see, sea, urged the crab. A lot is at stake!

For if I can’t own my own monicker merrily –

What shall I then go by, for goodness’ sake?