I am not a poet.

But I write words which may be (mis)construed to have a rhyme scheme.

I like to call myself a pseudopoet, and what I do, pseudopoetry. The first time I ever wrote something for online media was for this blog, in the Big Blog Theory challenge. The amount of praise I got for it made me realize that, as I said to myself later that evening, man, you are the faeces. The real, black faeces.

Next I knew, Vunderkind had contacted me, asking me if I wanted a full-time spot on his blog. I said yes of course (“you think I’m jobless, don’t you? You think I just lie around waiting to write for your blog, don’t you?”)

Am I male? Female? Some people feel led to assume I am male. I laugh. Yet others call me female. I laugh again.

My name is Victor.

Or Victoria.

I laugh again.