About the VUNDERKIND

Shalom. Namaste, and all what-not. Vunderkind is my monicker, and at the risk of donning my Captain Obvious cape, I say: Vunderkind writes for this blog.

I am mentally unwell, so if you are looking for the conventional writing (the kind that adores flowers, Just adores them so much, talks about the beauty of sunset and how the raindrops make you remember the phantasmagorias of the unicorns until I can feel my asshole twitch in fear), you are about to meet a pile of steaming disappointment, served with a side dish of contempt.

Take heed. I do not obey the conventional rules of literature. I am A.g(r)eek. I am a scientist. Doctors scrawl their prescriptions languidly to show their disdain for your ‘language’. The same shall be evident ‘pon this blog. If you are looking for iambic pentameters, sonnets, enjambments and morphemes (whatever the fuck those are), I say come out of your closet and tell your parents the good news.

Yes. Politically Correct writers are gay *strums guitar and stares into sunset Bruno Marsically*

Ahem. So. Where was I?

I can’t promise you humor here. But I can promise you stupidity. Now, if you are one to find cartwheeling people funny, this blog is for you. If you find Two and a Half Men funny, this blog is for you. Oh, if you love Big Bang Theory, bookmark this blog. If you love Nigerian movies starring Hank Anuku, well, fuck you too.

Too much swear words, shey? Well, UluthriX is on the blog. He’s a poet (gay?) and a Christian (definitely gay). You should just stick to reading his stuff.

As I am writing this little “About Vunderkind” thingy here, I find WordPress’ spellcheck’s underlining the word ‘blog’  pretty irritating. How can I be typing the word “blog” on a blog and spellchecker thinks it isn’t English???

Also, I just realized I haven’t said anything about me apart from the fact that I think Bruno Mars prolly doesn’t have to scrunch up his face to take a shit.

So…here goes:

“I am the Vunderkind. Versed in the vernacular of the venerated Vikings of times past, I am the vivid, vociferous, vivacious and very much vestigial remains of all that is verifiable. I am neither vapid nor vacuous, but vocally ululated across valleys and creeks. I am at once, hero and villain, and this is my act.”

———————–Vunderkind’s Valliterations (August 16th, 2013)