HOV (That’s Jay-Z to you non-MCHG lovers) : [#mylaugh] Yo, Timberland, hook me up with something to get the system revved up
[Timberland gets to work on making a high-octane beat]
**Twenty minutes later**
[Beat is pounding furiously, and HOV , LIL WAYNE, RICK ROSS, EMINEM and MI ABAGA are nodding lizardly. Well, it is Timberland afterall]
[MI ABAGA: (thinking) Omo, these oyibo pipo dey try for beat sha… (<_<)]
EMINEM: Well, lemme give the intro and the lot of y’all will come on and start your verses
LIL WAYNE: Naw. Naw, niggah, naw. You’ll be going all emo and shit. Let Rozay do it. He gots grunts and stuff.
HOV : But I have [#mylaugh]
RICK ROSS: Makes you sound like a shy pompous prick.
HOV : Good point.
MI ABAGA: Guys, guys, guys. I’m good with intros in Nigeria. Lemme do it.
EMINEM, HOV , LIL WAYNE and RICK ROSS: (<_<)
MI ABAGA: Aii.
**Beat starts**
RICK ROSS: (hunh)…Maybach Music, YMCMB, Rockahoes’ n’ Rockafellas, Gat Slim Shady and The Short Black Boy…reppin’ Choc City…put the beat on a hover pattern, no pun intended, cos HOV ’s bout to crash that plane…
HOV :
Definitely mami, we’re outchea, it’s H. O.
Luggage in Miami, we’ve got suites in Tokyo
My watch’s so rare the maker ate steak for years
Look how far we’ve come – I intimidate my peers
One million, twenty million – shit I’m tired of counting
So many on my payroll, lots of ‘em accountants
Young Carter’s in kindergarten
Momma backstage sewing mittens
And right here we’re celebrating
A niggah’s birthday – it’s July ten!
[Special effects, drum roll, tempo jumps, peaks, and drops]
****
LIL WAYNE:
Ah,
Bitches please clear the room,
Niggahs bouta get nasty
We getting high on weed and ‘shroom
Poppin’ bottles to Volturi’s dynasty
Hate, you die nasty
He’s getting’ stronger, y’all Wayning
Get it? Waning… (annoying Wayne chuckle)
Young Mulla baby
Niggah it’s you birthday
And you know we don’t even care
There’s no 50 Cent in here
Buh go, Niggah, it’s your birthday
[Rozay and EMINEM having a convo: Shit, I can’t believe Lil Weezy didn’t mention pu**ssy]
Ahem, that reminds me….
(<_<)
(>_>)
Pu**y Pu**sy Pu**y
I rhyme pu**y with pu**sy
And also with Tunechi –
[EMINEM yanks the Mike and pulls back his hood]
***
EMINEM
Don’t think for a minute that I came to kiss ass – ‘cos I’m way gifted and lifted like elevators to a stairwell but oh well I hold a joint so well take a drag and puff pass!
I swore I wouldn’t do drugs for the benefit of those who loved me, but fuck you if you think I’m clear-headed enough to be fucked with- you wanna start a brawl with me?
I swear the game is a suck up, pullin’out titties to a willing customer, but I’m the patron at the back of her, fuckin’ her and I take long to come in her so y’all pussies best wait your turn
In time you’ll learn that the fire that burns was something I learned while poring over dead books in the attic whil momma was being a loony bitch and simply crazy as shit.
Shit-faced niggah, is what they called me, not minding that I wasn’t black nor the fact that I spent most a my life constipated and hung up on the jargon of life –
Fuck this, I’m out, bitch!
[MI ABAGA scratches head, confused. No be DankarO birthday we dey rap for that year?]
***
RICK ROSS:
Hunh
We ridin’crazy, funny millionaires
Volturi’s blazing, young millionaire
Gold champagne, and we don’t even care
I paid you niggah’s bitches – to shave my pubic hair
#Bawse
Naijadude, so cocky and proud
But he’s got the talent, so I guess it’s allowed
#Rozay
Ballin’ from Nigeria to Harlem
Happy birthday niggah, and that’s the anthem…
[Timberland jerks the beat up a notch, and the tempo jumps…]
[MI ABAGA does his legendary cough]
HOV , EMINEM and LIL WAYNE: You got TB or something?
MI ABAGA: (<_<) Nah, I’m good.
[MI ABAGA dons headset]
***
MI ABAGA
Yo, niggah Volturi
Bawse of the 21st Century
Your swag and panache hittin’ up blocks and stocks rock up to crescendos cos we aliens to the term penury
So yours truly
Still the short black boy, with a swag truly unruly
Final year in the year of the fear of the greatest
And I heard that the dears of the heirs consider it grotesque
That
You
Would
Not
Pop a bottle, pop it loud
Jam up the streets ma niggah it’s allowed
‘Cos even God be smilin’ like ‘that’s my son and I’m so Proud’!
In a nutshell
I wish you well
Your swag stay constant, never change like Celtel
And we bring hell
For any bugger who wanna raise hell
Happy birthday ma niggah
God has made you bigger
Happy Birthday, mahn. You are a friend, one I have come to acquire through the weirdest of coincidences. DankarO ShintO, Volturi_Lord, the Head Niggah in Charge (HNIC), NaijaDude, I wish you awesome things that should ordinarily happen to the Vunderkind – but hey, I’m generous today. Have a blast, bruv.
[Meanwhile, sources confirm that somewhere in America, Miley Cyrus is still twerking]
Twerk it, MileyMiley, twerk..
[#mylaugh]
END
*dies*
*wakes up, hugs Vunderkind and dies again*
Got tears in my eyes bruv. This is all sorts of awesome!!!
Love ya niccuh!! In the gayest way possible!!!!!!
PS: why you dey waste your talent writing fiction and shii…. You should be the next member of choc city!
*dies the third time*
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O….kay. Too close, niggah, too close. 🙂 Happy birthday jare…flexx ad libitum!
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LOOOOOOOOOOL! This is the most hilarious shit! Smh..Justin you’re loony AF! Smh..I give up entirely.
Ehm..it’s kinda gay too. (¬_¬)
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He’s gay. I’m not homophobic though.
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Lmao!!! It’s hella funny, especially that Lil Wayne’s part, it cracked me up big time. Hehe.. Good one for a homie’s birthday.
I agree with Janus though; it’s kinda gay. Yuck!!! 😛
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Why agree with someone whose name is jAnus?
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Oh, pls you guys shd leave them alone! The owner of the birthday has already confirmed the matter.
But seriously, Justin, I have to agree with The Teacher, we hereby surrender to your loose nut. I mean the one in your head, yeye donkey.
Happy birthday, DankarO ShintO!!
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My loose nut…ah. Believe me, I am thinking that thing you don’t want me to think. LOOOOL. My loose nut. Should I tighten it, perhaps? And how do I go about this…tightening? Maybe by….screwing? Screwing?
Like screwing the loose nut?
Eh?
Screwing?
LOL
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This is so beautiful,I cry…,because it is freaking hilarious….
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CreekCode is a beautiful name for a blog though…how come you haven’t done something since last year?
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Awesomely Gay.
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I take the ‘awesomely’, seal up the ‘gay’ in the package it came in and ship back to sender. Hope you like it 🙂
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erm..so I know nothing about rap beht this looks gorgeous.
happy birthday, danky
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My rap? Gorgeous? Jisos. LOL. Yeah, Happy Birthday to ‘Danky’
**throws confetti**
Very gay something. Danky. SMH.
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LMAOOOOOOOOO. Damn it. When I first clicked the link, I had expectations of a real(mp3) mixtape(in my defence, I just woke up). But, this is much, much, Much. Munch, mucn.. Better.
Happy Birthday Naija Dude. Bro love from the hood.
Rhymes no rap.
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#RozayGrunt
Roll up…light a blunt
We’re the shit…these niggahs c(o)unts
I got midget bankers, it’s the little things that count
Niggahs gettin’ sleepless nights on my account
#Bawse
LOOOOOOL
“Happy birthday Naija Dude.
Bro love from the hood”
We should do a collabo. Or something.
(<_<)
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Darn! How do you do this shit ona whim?
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Nice one Justin….. Happy buffdae Naijadude.
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Yvonne….[#myconfusion]…Why do I feel like I should know you?
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Loooooooool….love this stuff, justin lemme sign u into my record label…HNIC, happi birthday
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Record label? LOOOOOL FOH niggah. You want me to end up like Vic O ba?
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Wow….. I’m just awed, this kain rap….
Happy Birthday Dankaro, bossest boss….. And Justina, I see you’re still gay. Cool
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Lemme attend to your statements accordingly:
1. Wow…..I’m just awed, this kain rap….[#RozayGrunt covers that]
2. Happy Birthday Dankaro, bossest boss [the depths people will sink to get free cake…#famzer]
3. And Justina, I see you’re still gay. Cool. [Oh, baby. You’re still waiting for me? I thought I told you you could move on with your life?]
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I dunno, but Justin deserves more than just a tiara for being Queen of the Rejoinders..lol
It’s a small ‘lol’.
Amusement.
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Platyhelminthe.
IDK. That’s what came to mind
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LOL. Great piece, why you wasting your talent writing fiction nshit? Mavin would do well with a fresh faced rapper [not like I’m saying you have a fresh face]. This has Elton John written allova it, though.
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[#mylaugh] Record labels don’t wanna sign a niggah. Alas. And Elton John is the #truth! (っ˘з˘)っ
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Like the rambling newt, I had already started looking for my headphones but this is friggin’ sick!!!
Happy birthday Volturi and this nigger better be godfather to all your children. Or best man. Or both.
P.S.- Is it me or was there no chorus? >_>
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LOOOOOOOOL TeleOla…#SomeonesSecretCrush
(<_<)
Yes, I better be godfather or best man. I deserve it (adjusts knicker laces)
And…uh…there's no chorus. Bruno Mars was supposed to be there, but sources confirm he is still dragging a piano somewhere in America…
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I finally got to finish the liebster post *dnt say nothing* (-_-).. and you already know what came up.
http://mulicat.wordpress.com/2013/02/28/the-liebster-and-my-oscar-2/
hehe
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Reblogged this on Ramblings of a Semi-Cool Dude.
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